It Makes Me Ill

Today is one of those days where I just want to curl up in a ball and not let anyone see me.

I have mentioned I am really good at hiding my bad days. But on days like today there is no hiding what has been building on the inside for the past week or so. I deal with these lovely things called cold sores. I had never had one until last year and let me tell you they reared their ugly heads with a vengeance. I don’t just get them on my lip or in my nose. My chin, cheeks, and other areas of my face have also been tortured and scarred by them. (I told you I am an overachiever!) All of this is super scary because my sweet dad had to have a corneal transplant due to this same issue traveling into his eye.

So why do people deal with these stupid things? One of the main triggers is stress, but they are also brought on by sun exposure (for me this is something I have to be super careful of because of my medications I take), or if you are female your lovely monthly bestie…not!

On that subject I get to tell you a  little bit about this lovely thing I suffer with called Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). I was diagnosed with PMDD when I was 21. Guys if you are reading this just bear with me. PERIODS SUCK! I don’t know a single woman on this planet that hasn’t had to deal with PMS and that is bad enough. PMDD is just a different kind of awful! Even with all the help I have given myself with medication, therapy, and emotional support from my family and friend, there are cycles where I can’t even get out of bed. My depression, hopelessness, mood swings, food cravings, bloating, and pain get out of control. Do I deal with this every cycle? No. Was it more controllable when I was on birth control? Yes. However, it is a catch 22. I had my tubes tied after Jude was born because I didn’t want to continue putting unnecessary hormones into my body. Luckily I know the problem and even when I feel out of control I at least know what is going on.

If you think you might have PMDD PLEASE talk to your physician!


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